Of course this would come up as a related ad on my Facebook page.
Why would it not?
Bacon. Good for breakfast. Good for your vagina.
Of course this would come up as a related ad on my Facebook page. Why would it not?
While checking out Party City’s website yesterday to find out the cost of some latex balloons my eyeballs were ASSAULTED with this image on their home page. What the hell? I swear this is the kind of stuff my nightmares are made of. Can you imagine looking out your window late at night and seeing one of these things creeping around your yard? Or worse, you open the door of your closet and standing in the back corner is one of these freaks all in black waiting to cut your throat and steal your favorite shoes! Holy crap. Here is your next blockbuster scary movie idea—Morphsuit Murders. It gets worse. Not only do these frightening things come in a rainbow of solid colors they also come in this.
Or…if you want to go for a little classier look there is this one.
And if you’re shy and don’t want to stick out in a crowd you could always go with this option.
Ready to head out and buy one yet? Well, I have a few questions. According to the description of these freakish spandex suits, “Morphsuits are designed to allow easy breathing, drinking and visibility”. Easy drinking? HOW? They are also “spot clean only”. Can you imagine the funk that is going to end up all over a skin tight suit? Why would they not make it machine washable? Just how much of a dude’s package am I going to see? And are those models using the tuck option for the photos? They come in Regular AND Plus sizes so perhaps the most important question is, do they make a maternity version? And were do I find a giant vagina so I can throw on a peach one and reenact the birth this Fall? This may be one of the most bizarre spam comments I’ve ever received.
Uh-huh. Okay Lou. Thanks for that. The post it is attached to is this one. Which has everything to do with Muppets and music and NOTHING to do with bloody bear muzzles. And what kind of crazy bears are being bred with invisible muzzles? Why just the muzzle? Why not the whole bear? Can remains be even be shocked? These are questions I’m not sure Lou Gallante is ready to answer. I hate to break it to you, but not everything is better with bacon. Now before you flog me with your ham hocks, let me explain. Bacon + Eggs? Good. But Bacon flavored dental floss? I’m not going to actually find out, but my guess would be NOT GOOD. Who thought this would be a good idea to actually produce? Who is buying this? More importantly, who is using it? And why is Cracker Barrel selling it in their gift shop? Buttoning our eyes in an effort to make myself forget that I missed Coraline in 3D. It seems to have worked. I want to button our eyes in every picture on the wall. Maybe I’ll do that for Halloween. How cool would that be? Wanna button your eyes? You can do it here. The copy from the Daily Candy email today cracked me up.
Good stuff. MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter – Family reunion – Roots Make sure you go see Leezer’s hilarious comparisons. My favorite? Frankenstein. I saw this slogan generator at Blogography and had to give it a try. The first generated slogan was just too hilarious to not post. Enjoy. Then, go do yours and come back here and tell me what it was.
This will surely be appreciated by Nobody. Thanks ac(w)p! |
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