Holy Crap—A Tale of Postpartum Constipation

I had forgotten how painful some things are days after you give birth.

Not how sore you may be from having your stomach cut wide open and a human pulled out from an incision much narrower than the actual human—thankfully skin is has a good amount of elasticity. Or how sore your ladies bit and the resulting episiotomy from having to push another human through a hole that is once again much smaller from the actual human coming out (see prior note about elasticity of the skin).

Instead, how ridiculously painful that initial latch on when breastfeeding can be for the first couple of weeks or so. My toes curl every time Huggy Baby latches on the right side.

Or, how painful that first crap can be after giving birth.

I pooped for the first time on Friday since the morning of my c-section the previous Sunday. Five days without pooping. I don’t suggest you try it.

I do strongly encourage you to take the stool softeners they offer in the hospital. Religiously.

Even with four days of double doses of stool softener in me, my maiden post-birth poop practically made me pass out right there on the toilet.

It was like passing a brick through a keyhole—without the blessed elasticity of skin that my stomach offered me over the last nine months.

Be forewarned: Once you commit to the process you cannot give up. There is no going back.

So brace yourself.
Push like you mean it.
And don’t be surprised when you shed actual tears of relief when it’s over.

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