I can’t stop thinking about babies. My uterus practically aches at the sight of them. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign. It’s big and neon and flashes “Turn the lights back on in the baby making factory and get to work.”
I think I should tell JQ to grab a hard hat and a pair of safety goggles.
But…I’m scared to be pregnant again. I mean really. I haven’t forgotten the 12 weeks of nausea. Or my blood pressure dropping as I shook uncontrollably on the surgery table after my c-section. I remember how tired I was CREATING LIFE. And let’s face it, I’m already tired from raising a toddler. I mean seriously, will I ever get a good night of sleep again? Please say yes. I like sleep.
Anyway, babies. Want to eat them but a bit freaked out to make one again. For the most part I LOVED being pregnant. I felt beautiful and womanly when my stomach was big and hard as a rock. I was given the opportunity to do something really important and I thought it was fantastic. Let me tell you—if you haven’t had the chance to experience it yourself—making a human inside your body is pretty epic. I’d like to experience it again—even if it means I can’t eat sushi for almost a year. Which would suck. A lot.
So it’s not really about the pregnancy issues. More than the nausea, the sleep deprivation, and the lack of cold cuts for 9 months, I’m worried about how going from three to four will affect our lives. How will it change our home? How will we handle this dramatic shift in the dynamics of our perfect triangle family? Can we handle being a square? Can we afford to become a quadrilateral?
These are the things that keep me from rushing back into trying for another baby. I think they are valid fears. But…I want G-tot to have a sibling. I want him to have someone he can turn to when he wants to talk ABOUT us instead of to us. I want him to have a friend to play with. And I don’t want to wait too long.
Hi there–
Being an older brother to a sister about 14 or so months younger than me..it was awesome having a little sister growing up. picking on her and such.
and all the fun things we did together, whatever that may be back then.
hehe.
What is especially adorable now, is the pictures we took together back then.
And we LOVE talking about our parents.
You sound like a great mom, and I think your son would love a sibling.
It’s so exciting! And you will see him grow up in helping you raise the next.
-Sincerely an 18 year old with a 16 year old sister.
Vince
@timbe2
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Vince—Although the kids would be at least 3+ years apart, that’s the kind of relationship I would like to see happen if we have another.
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If you’re confident that you can remain healthy and your kid will be healthy, I say go for it. Sushi and deli meat can wait. I have thought about having a kid ever since I was a junior in high school and was given quite a scare. I haven’t acted on it because I haven’t found anyone I would want to have a kid with. You and JQ are awesome together. G-tot is a great (if rambunctious at times) kid. Having another now is the perfect time given his (and your) age.
The only other thing I can say is that I hope this isn’t coming from E-Lee being preggers. It’s one thing to want a kid because you have you’re ready. It’s quite another if you are just itching because you see that someone else is pregnant.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Minguswaits—Trust me, Emma being pregnant has nothing to do with me wanting another child. Actually, I hadn’t even thought about her being pregnant until you mentioned it. And I don’t think I know anybody else that is pregnant right now. I have always thought we would have more than one. Especially since the one we have now is so incredible.
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I don’t have experience myself with babies, but I have heard each pregnancy is different. One of my aunts didn’t have problems with the first one, but the second one…whoa boy.
I say go for it! (Plus, I have thinking lately about when you and JQ were going to have another. Or if. I have to live it through my friends right now.)
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Lynda—I know they say every one is different but that alone is scary. What if I’m not a delicate life-growing goddess next time.
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Hey, if you can make a baby, you’ll be a delicate life-growing goddess in my book. Probably still are already, he’s just growing on the outside now.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Heh, thanks.
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Maybe we should just practice for a while…
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Practice makes perfect.
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You are a responsible adult and parent, so of course these questions arise in your mind. They are surely valid. I say talk to your husband, face your fears….and go for it!!!!! The money, the sleep, and everything will work itself out.
(this is coming from someone who deeply wishes her only child had a sibling – someone to be her playmate now, and friend later in life.)
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Amber—Being 14 years apart from my siblings is such a huge gap. I see the relationship you have with JQ and I want the same for G-tot.
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Amber Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Aww, thanks! I think it’s very cool that Josh, Matt, and I are friends as well as siblings.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I also think it’s pretty cool that we were all friends first and now we are related!
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jq is right. just practice.. but then, I never wanted any kids, I didn’t realize I was practicing, I thought I was just having fun. I don’t regret having either one, but I also don’t regret that I’m now shooting blanks.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Nobody—Practice. Practice. Practice. The advice is always the same from you men.
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Becoming a square is definitely a new experience, but if you are a good mother (which I believe you are) the triangle fades and the square becomes easy to deal. You just end up being supermom in the process! It becomes the norm and your multitasking skills are awesome!
Now I can validate that each pregnancy is different, you learn that your body reacts differently and you might not even have sickness!
I think that if JQ is ready you should go for it!
See he wants to practice already! Haha!
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Jessica—Thanks for your input.
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I knew this would be way too long of a response to leave on Twitter.
I can understand where you are coming from on this one. My husband and I are trying and have been since we were married in April. I even bought one of those fancy $200 fertility monitors with our left-over flex spending money. I think that pregnancy is such a personal experience, but everyone certainly likes to give their two sense! You know, everyone’s got one? We have received so much info on how we should be trying including a plethera of TMI from some otherwise acquaintences. Our situation is a little different, as this is our first, but also because I have extremely severe endometriosis that makes the whole deal much more difficult. To make matters worse, all of my friends and family members are getting knocked-up left and right. I just feel like it will happen when it’s meant to happen, and my husband and I are enjoying our lives as they are know, with just the two of us. Only you can know what’s right for you or how you should make this life-changing decision. I agree that trying is a great way to figure it out! I also know that stressing out is not a good way to conceive, so who cares what everyone else has to say, me included. As for the lack of sushi for a year, that I am truly saddened by. That is also the reason why Dean & I have it every week while we’re working on it.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 8th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Sweetpeaamanda—Yeah, I would say that is a tad more than 140 characters.
I imagine the unsolicited advice you are getting is enough to make you want to tell people you AREN’T trying. Good luck to you and Dean. I’ll send some good vibes your way.
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I’m with everyone else that’s saying GO FOR IT! My Mom always put it this way when I asked her why she chose to have two kids instead of one: “Well, if I’d thought about it too long it would have been too late!”
Either way, we had no money growing up, and somehow we had an excellent childhood full of fun times, and I think we were spoiled, even, in some ways. Having two instead of one kid didn’t make things that much harder, according to my Mom, anyway.
Plus, it would definitely be fantastic for G-Tot. Growing up with someone to laugh with is the best thing in the world. My friend Lori just had her second child about a year and a half ago… and her first child, her son (who was 4 at the time she was born), just took to the new baby like a magnet. He’s so sweet and helpful when it comes to his little sister, and every single picture she sends out of the two of them has them in the middle of doing some weird thing, laughing really hard, or hugging one another… OMG. Those kids ALONE make my ovaries twitch! If I knew I could have two kids who got along that well, and were that cute and smart, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Don’t worry… whatever happens, your family will be fine. You’re already close, and I think the experience of going through a pregnancy again, together this time, would bring you all even closer! I’m kind of excited for you and whatever your decision is.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
First, in case anyone is unclear, you mean “together this time” as in the 3 of us right? Don’t worry people, JQ & I were have never been apart since we got together, don’t start spreading gossip.
You and your sister are a great example of how awesome siblings are. You two crack me up.
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I think most moms think that same thing, about our bodies, and what it does to us, how can I love another person as much as I love my little person etc…. That’s why my kids are almost 6 years apart and I really regret that-my nine year old has a 16 year olds attitude to emulate-bleh. I tell you what else is worse, wanting another baby, because your life has changed so much and realizing you’re(not you, me) to old. I have to wait for grand babies now.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Uggh, a teen and a trying-to-be teen. Glad I’m not in your shoes.
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You are an awesome mommy! You should do it. Don’t wait for it to happen, MAKE it happen. ~You never know when or if something will change and you won’t be able to have another one. I wish I hadn’t waited too long, and now it’ll never happen. No regrets… that’s what I say!! GO FOR IT!
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*pixie* Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Thanks Robyn!
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Whoa, sorry I wasn’t more clear with what I said! LOL… I meant the THREE of you. That it will be cool for G-Tot to experience seeing you go through a pregnancy, and prepare for a little brother or sister… all of that kind of stuff.
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*pixie* Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Haha! I knew what you meant but it reads odd.
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Where did my earlier comment go? Huh. Well, what I was going to say is that I understand exactly how you feel. Throughout all these months of us trying and not succeeding I am getting more and more disgruntled. I am tyring to stay light and not stressed about it but it is hard at times. So I can understand why deciding to try for another is a huge decision. It’s another big change. But is also may not be like your first. They say every pregnancy is different. Look at dooce! She had a HORRIBLE first time and her second time was a breeze. Anything can happen. I guess thta is part of the fun of trying.
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