I’m not the kind of person that prays much. Religion—of any sort—was never pushed growing up in my house. I’ve only been to church for service a handful of times. So when someone is suffering or has a family member ill, I always feel a little awkward saying “I’ll keep you in my prayers.” What prayers? The ones I won’t say at the beginning of a meal or at the end of the night? The ones I don’t say at that church service I don’t attend? Those prayers?
Then I feel like an insensitive ass when I don’t sign one of the seemingly endless cards that indicate a co-worker or one of their family members have fallen ill—or worse—with “you are in my prayers”. If I get the news via the telephone? I feel like an even bigger ass.
It’s not that I’m being insensitive, I’m just trying to stay true to myself. If I don’t pray I don’t feel like I should declare that I’m keeping someone in my prayers. Right?
So, instead I say,, “I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts.”
What do you think? Am I crazy? Does this come off as insensitive?
I do the exact same thing! You will never hear the word “pray” come out of my mouth…. unless I am singing an MC Hammer song.
I don’t think that’s insensitive because you still are caring for the person in need and expressing your sorrow; it’s just in a different way.
Love always,
your fellow agnostic asshole friend
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As a person who does pray and does so many times a day within my own thoughts I think you are NOT insensitive nor are you being rude by just saying,”You and yours are in my Thoughts.” People are different and do different things. That goes for everything in life including spirituality. I would rather you tell me the truth than lie, especially about praying. To me that is something you just dont lie about. Plus, Just knowing that someone is taking the time to think of me is enough for me to know that you care. That’s just me, others might think differently but I and my peanut gallery don’t think you’re being insensitive.
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I think saying you will keep people in your thoughts is perfectly acceptable, and even, interchangeable, to reflect your lifestyle.
I pray in bed. It’s become my church. My only place of silence. I find it means more than when I do it in church. It’s more genuine.
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Totally see what you’re saying. I’m not (and my family also)..we aren’t that “religiousy” either. Sometimes I’ll say “I’ll keep them in my prayers” and sometimes I’ll say that they’re in my thoughts. Another one is “I’m sending good vibes”. I don’t pray a lot either. I try to, but at the end of the day, I’m too tired. I think you’re staying true to yourself and that’s always a good thing. Never insensitive.
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I know exactly where you’re coming from. I’m not really comfortable with organized denominations and religious rituals.
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I always say, “I’m thinking good thoughts for you,” or some variation. Honestly, if you aren’t religious, why should you keep someone in your prayers. It isn’t that you care less. I think it’s not being true to yourself to say you will pray for someone.
When my sister got sick, my dad said, “Say lots of prayers, and if you aren’t inclined to pray, think happy thoughts.” I always thought it was kind of nice. Even if I need some help, I don’t feel inclined to ask for prayers, but I will say “Wish me luck” or “Think good thoughts for me.”
Man, I could go on and on, but I’ll stop now.
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I just say “Get over it, sheesh!”
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Yes, I think your crazy. In a totally good way. I don’t bother with worrying about being insensitive. I could care less about what people think of me. “I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts.” Perfectly acceptable.
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Not insensitive. Being real. And I agree with JQ, bunch of wussies!
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If you don’t believe prayer actually works then you are doing just as much by thinking of someone as you are doing by praying.
I think you sound perfectly fine saying thoughts.
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I totally agree with you. I would feel like (and be) a liar if I said I was going to keep someone in my prayers. I say “in my thoughts” too, or “I’m so sorry” or something else appropriate.
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Good thoughts are just as strong as prayers. That is what I have always believed. A belief in yourself and that you wish good things on others is the way I like to go. Prayer is not necessary. I do a whole lot more thinking than praying every day.
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OMG! I struggle with this SAME exact thing, especially because my boyfriend’s family is Catholic. When they sing Happy Birthday, verse two is always “May the dear lord bless you…” and I think to myself, ’should i sing that part or not?’ Same when they pray before a meal…I DON’T KNOW THE PRAYERS!
For cards and things like that, I usually say “keeping you in my thoughts.”
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