It’s infectious really.

I have a hard time not smiling and laughing right along with my children when they get the giggles—regardless of my mood moments before.

Having a bad day? Watch this. Having a good day? Watch this anyway and make it even better.

When you are done and smiling from the joy Huggy Baby exudes during our tickle fest, head over to the Curvy Girl Guide where I’m talking about creating structure in my chaotic life.

He is celebrating his 59th. The fact that this is his last year as a 50-something seems almost impossible to me. For some reason my parents fall into this category of being perpetually in their late 40s or early 50s. Which is ridiculous since I’m 35. If I’m getting older they certainly are.

But… they have this air of youthfulness about them.

For my dad it probably has a lot to do with the fact that he still loves to hunt. He still loves his rock ‘n’ roll. He just refuses to grow old.

It is pretty spectacular.

I hope that’s hereditary.

Happy Birthday Dad!

I have no idea how to wear it.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. I did wear it like a wrap yesterday over the tank top I was wearing. Because face it, December in NW Ohio doesn’t really bring tank top appropriate weather. And sure, there are all sorts of tutorials on how to tie/drape/origami a scarf on Pinterest so I can probably figure out how to wear one.

I’m not quite convinced I will be able to pull it off.

My boys however, look striking in it.

I mean seriously. Don’t they look like gorgeous gypsy children?

Enjoy.

Cranberry Margarita
1 1/2 oz. tequila
1 oz. triple sec
1 oz. cranberry juice
1/2 oz. lime juice

Mix in a shaker with crushed ice. Serve in a sugar rimmed glass. Serves 1.

Notes:
I used a cranberry juice cocktail. If using an unsweetened cranberry juice you may need to add a bit of sugar or simple syrup.
My lime juice of choice is currently key lime juice leftover from the key lime pie my mom makes me for my birthday. Fresh squeezed limes would be excellent and I’m sure Rose’s Lime Juice would be good as well.

I just cannot shake this horrible sadness. It has consumed me.

So very sad.

And helpless.

I cannot feel the foggy veil of depression lifting. I don’t know how to make it go away.

This is the first time since March that I have felt like I might need to see my therapist.

It was just one year ago this past week that I had my second miscarriage and had to re-evaluate the idea of taking anti-depressants because therapy didn’t feel like it would be enough.

I stopped taking Prozac when I found out I was pregnant with Huggy Baby in January. Three months later I stopped going to therapy.

Sure, the pregnancy was at times stressful but I was doing okay. I had my support system in place and for months I didn’t feel like I needed therapy—or drugs—to feel “right”.

Then a couple of weeks ago it started creeping in. A week ago it hit me hard and full on.

…

I wrote that six weeks ago.

I’m better today. Not perfect. Just Better.

I think I was trying to stuff my feelings and pretend there wasn’t anything wrong. Talking about it? Talking about it would inevitably lead to uncontrollable tears.

Tears that embarrass me in my inability to turn them off.

But addressing that there was problem despite the tears has been a really important step towards healing for me.

What I’ve come to realize is that I need to be open. I need to be a better communicator. I need to learn to nurture myself.

I have no idea how to do that.

Why would it not?

Bacon. Good for breakfast. Good for your vagina.

Enjoy your tricks and your treats tonight!

He is part of my husband JQ’s band, The Eight Fifteens.

They have a show tonight and this is part of what he will be wearing. Sure, the pumpkin is definitely a nod to Halloween but trust me, this is not the first time Isaac has dressed up for a gig. It won’t be the last—holiday or not.

The Eight Fifteens. Catch a gig if you can—you never know what you might see.

Taken on Sunday, this is an “outtake” of sorts from a series of photographs I take of my children to document them growing up. Each week—up to their first birthday and then each month—I take a picture of my kids sitting next to a stuffed monkey. Each one has their own monkey and it serves as a constant in the photos to see how the kids grow over time. Those weeks and months quickly add up, and these photos are evidence that time really does fly by.

On Sunday Huggy Baby turned 6 weeks old and as I snapped a few shots of him and his monkey G-tot sidled up next to his brother. So I took a few more shots of the two of them.

And when I look at that photograph I see a moment of pure love.
A new baby.
A new big brother.
The beginning of a life long friendship.
My two boys who will grow up too fast all the while experiencing countless everyday moments with each other.

I plan to capture as many as possible.

This post is sponsored by Kodak. October 17–23 is Free Kodak Prints week—a week long event designed to help you unleash your photos from your hard drives and Facebook albums by offering 20 free 4 x 6 inch prints when you “like” Kodak on Facebook. Additionally, to help celebrate Free Prints Week, Kodak is partnering with the popular Tumblr blog, My Parents Were Awesome, as a way to encourage people to print and share recent photos and those of the past.