I think I should tell JQ to grab a hard hat and a pair of safety goggles.

But…I’m scared to be pregnant again. I mean really. I haven’t forgotten the 12 weeks of nausea. Or my blood pressure dropping as I shook uncontrollably on the surgery table after my c-section. I remember how tired I was CREATING LIFE. And let’s face it, I’m already tired from raising a toddler. I mean seriously, will I ever get a good night of sleep again? Please say yes. I like sleep.

Anyway, babies. Want to eat them but a bit freaked out to make one again. For the most part I LOVED being pregnant. I felt beautiful and womanly when my stomach was big and hard as a rock. I was given the opportunity to do something really important and I thought it was fantastic. Let me tell you—if you haven’t had the chance to experience it yourself—making a human inside your body is pretty epic. I’d like to experience it again—even if it means I can’t eat sushi for almost a year. Which would suck. A lot.

So it’s not really about the pregnancy issues. More than the nausea, the sleep deprivation, and the lack of cold cuts for 9 months,  I’m worried about how going from three to four will affect our lives. How will it change our home? How will we handle this dramatic shift in the dynamics of our perfect triangle family? Can we handle being a square? Can we afford to become a quadrilateral?

These are the things that keep me from rushing back into trying for another baby. I think they are valid fears. But…I want G-tot to have a sibling. I want him to have someone he can turn to when he wants to talk ABOUT us instead of to us. I want him to have a friend to play with. And I don’t want to wait too long.